Keeping Children Safe Online with One Shared Phone

In many homes in Ruiru there is one smartphone. It belongs to a parent, it carries the M-PESA account and the family WhatsApp groups, and in the evening it is handed to a child for homework, cartoons or a game. Nobody thinks of that as giving a child the internet. It is.

Online safety advice is often written for households where every child has a tablet and a bedroom with a door. This article is for the household with one shared phone. It covers what to watch for, a few settings worth changing tonight, how to talk about it without frightening anyone, and where to report something when it goes wrong.

What the risks actually look like

The Communications Authority of Kenya's Industry Guidelines for Child Online Protection and Safety in Kenya, published on ca.go.ke, list the harms that service providers are expected to guard against. In plain words, the ones that reach children through a family phone are these.

• Grooming. An adult builds a friendship with a child through a game, a group or a direct message, usually with flattery, gifts of airtime or data, and a request to keep it secret.
• Sextortion and pressure to share images. A child is persuaded to send a photo and is then threatened with it.
• Bullying and shaming. Cruel messages, edited pictures or exclusion in a class group, which follow a child home in a way playground teasing never did.
• Content a child should not see. Violence, sexual material and adverts that are not meant for children, often only a few taps from a cartoon.
• Scams and privacy. Phishing messages and requests for personal details. On a phone that holds the family's money, a child who taps the wrong link can cost the household as well.

The signs are usually changes in behaviour. A child who becomes secretive about the phone, hides the screen, gets upset after using it, has new airtime or gifts nobody can explain, or mentions a new "friend" the family has never met. None of these proves anything. Each is a reason to pay closer attention.

Settings that help on a shared phone

You do not need to be good with technology to make the phone safer. Most of this takes a few minutes.

Protect the money first. Keep the M-PESA PIN and the phone's lock code to yourself, and do not let a child watch you type them. A child using the phone should not be able to send money or buy anything by accident or under pressure.

Use the parental controls already there. Phones and app stores have settings that limit what can be downloaded by age and stop purchases without a password. Ask your mobile provider what controls it offers, too. The Communications Authority's guidelines expect providers to explain clearly how and where customers can report a complaint, so their customer care is a reasonable place to start.

Give the child their own space on the phone where possible. A separate profile or a children's version of a video app keeps them out of the adult WhatsApp groups and away from autoplay that drifts into unsuitable material.

Check who can message the child. In games and chat apps, set contact to friends only and turn off location sharing. If a child has their own account, look at the friend list together.

Keep the phone in the open. The simplest rule in a small house is that the phone is used where adults are, in the sitting room rather than under a blanket, and that it comes back to its owner at a set time each night.

How to talk about it

Settings help, but they fail. What protects a child when they do is a child who will tell you.

Talk early and talk often. Short, ordinary conversations work better than one serious lecture. Ask what they watched, which games their friends play, and what they would do if somebody online asked them to keep a secret.

Make one promise and keep it. Tell the child that if something online frightens or confuses them, they can show you, and they will not lose the phone for telling. Children hide trouble mainly because they expect punishment. If the first thing that happens after they confide in you is that the phone is taken away, they will not confide again.

Name the tricks. Explain plainly that adults who want to harm children often pretend to be young, give gifts, and ask for secrets and photographs. A child who has heard this said calmly at home is far more likely to recognise it.

Do not shame. A child who has sent an image or been fooled is the one who was wronged. Stay calm, thank them for telling you, and deal with the problem together.

If something has happened

Keep the evidence. Do not delete the messages, and do not confront the other person. Take screenshots showing the account name, the messages and the dates. The Communications Authority's guidelines require providers to set out how to capture and submit evidence of online violations of children's rights, and that evidence is what investigators need.

Report it on the platform. Most apps have a report button on the profile or message. Use it, and block the account afterwards.

Call 116. The National Child Helpline 116 is run by Childline Kenya on behalf of the Government's Department of Children's Services. According to Childline Kenya's website, it is toll free, available around the clock and free from mobile phones anywhere in Kenya, and response to reported cases is coordinated by children's officers at county and sub-county level. Childline also lists WhatsApp on +254 722 116 116 and email at 116@childlinekenya.co.ke.

If a child is in immediate danger, go to the police as well. If you are unsure whether what you have seen is serious enough, How to Refer a Child Who Needs Help explains how to write down what you noticed and who to take it to in Kiambu.

Where we fit

Lift A Life Foundation is a community based organisation in Ruiru, registered with the County Government of Kiambu, certificate RSC/3811/CBO/2024. We cannot investigate an online crime or remove content from the internet. What we can do is sit with a parent or grandparent who is worried, help them keep the evidence and make the call to 116, and follow up. If that would help, contact us. If you would like to support this kind of work, you can donate or get involved.