How to Refer a Child Who Needs Help

Most people who notice something wrong with a child do nothing. Not because they do not care, but because they do not know who to tell, and they fear making things worse or being wrong about a household they live beside.

Those are reasonable fears and they deserve a straight answer. This article sets out what to do, who to take it to in Kiambu, what happens afterwards, and why being wrong is a smaller problem than people believe.

Write down what you saw, not what you concluded

Record the observation, not the explanation. "He came to school twice this week in the same clothes and slept through both mornings" is useful. "He is being neglected" is not, because it is a conclusion nobody else can check. Officers act on descriptions, not impressions.

Note the dates. A pattern across three weeks means something a single difficult morning does not. Write the date each time you notice something, even when it seems too small to matter. Small things that repeat are what make a referral worth acting on.

Write it while it is fresh. Memory reorders events, and a note made the same day is far more use than one reconstructed a month later.

Keep the note to yourself until you hand it over. A family discussed in a WhatsApp group is a family whose reputation is already damaged, and word travels faster than a referral does.

What not to do

Do not question the child. However gently it is done, asking a child to explain what happens at home can distress them and spoil the account a trained officer would later need. If a child tells you something, listen, do not press for more, and afterwards write down what they said.

Do not approach the adult you suspect. It warns them, it can leave the child worse off that same evening, and it puts you in the middle of a dispute in which you have no standing.

Do not go looking for proof. You are not required to be certain, and establishing what is true is the job of the office you report to. Waiting until you can prove something is how months pass.

Observe, record, pass it on. That is the whole of your part in it, and it is enough.

Who to approach in Kiambu

There is more than one door, and any of them works. What matters is that it reaches somebody whose job this is.

The assistant chief. Closest to the household, knows the families in the area, and can call people in. For most concerns in a village or an estate this is the quickest route.

The school head or class teacher. If the child is in school, they are seen daily. A head teacher can look at attendance, appearance and behaviour over months, and has a duty to take a concern further.

The county children's office. The office that handles child protection formally. Serious concerns about a child's safety belong here, and an assistant chief or a school head will often route a case there anyway.

If you cannot decide, take it to whichever is nearest. Being redirected costs you an afternoon. Nobody is penalised for starting at the wrong desk.

Where an organisation like ours fits

We are a community based organisation registered with the County Government of Kiambu, certificate RSC/3811/CBO/2024, working out of Ruiru. We cannot take a child into care, remove a child from a household, or open a case. No community organisation can.

What we can do is the part in between. Sit with somebody who has noticed something and help them get it into writing. Point them at the right office. Travel with a grandmother who cannot make the journey alone. Ask again when a referral has stalled.

Networking and community building sit on our certificate alongside the care work, and this is much of what they mean. Most failures we see are not refusals. They are referrals never made at all, or made once and never followed up.

If you have noticed something and do not know where to begin, tell us and we will help you take it to the right place. That is not the same as us handling it for you.

After you have reported it

Expect it to move more slowly than you want. These offices carry heavy caseloads and yours will be one of many. Slow is not the same as ignored, and a polite follow up after a few weeks is reasonable.

Expect to be told very little. Family cases are confidential, and someone who reports a concern is not a party to what follows. You may never learn what happened. That is the correct rule, because the same confidentiality would protect your own household.

Being wrong is not the disaster people picture. A concern that turns out to be nothing is a visit, a conversation, and a file that closes. It does not mark a family permanently. Concerns that come to nothing are ordinary work.

The other mistake is the expensive one. A child nobody ever mentioned stays where they are, sometimes for years, often surrounded by adults who each noticed something and each assumed somebody else had spoken. Say it once, to the right person, and let them decide.